Marriage Counseling - What's missing?

Q: Does marriage counseling help for a successful relationship?

While I was on my way to office, there was an interview going on about marriage counseling. Apparently, there's going to be a workshop titled - 10 Great Dates for a Successful Relationship.

Isn't it interesting to see that there are thousands of marriage counselors in countries like the US and yet the country sees high rates of divorce? They come up with all kinds of workshops, exercises, training and what not but still the condition has not improved. There are counseling organizations, churches etc. who teach the couple how to take care of finances, how to live together, when to go for children etc.

Looking at the statistics (which you can find in millions of pages in google), there seems to be something missing.

Nithyananda quotes from Shiva Sutra, an ancient Vedic text, 'in a relationship, if you think there are only two people you are wrong. There are actually four people, the man and his fantasy of his wife; the woman and her fantasy of her husband.'

Fantasy - that is the key word. When we constantly keep fantasizing how the partner should be, how the partner should behave, how the partner should talk, we are never living with the real person. We have mold made from our fantasies and we try to fit the partner in that mold. If he/she does not fit in, we start chiseling. Now this chiseling can become painful or pressurizing to the other person leading to divorce.

What is the point of counseling 6 or 10 weeks to a couple when they still have their own fantasies of their partner. No external counselor can help one remove his/her fantasies. The deeper problem needs to be addressed by the individual himself or herself. Each partner has to come out of his/her fantasies on their own.

Nithyananda says, 'only when you stop fantasizing, your relationship is real; only then you can enjoy your relationship. Otherwise, you are living with a ghost.' The countries in the east see lesser number of divorce cases because the individuals understand this truth. They work on themselves.

Meditation is another key to unlock oneself out of these fantasies. In the first level Life Bliss Program, this topic is discussed in detail and also on how meditation helps one to get over their fantasies. See what Nithyananda says about marriage ...