Q: I have all the money I want, my children are settled, now I have nothing to look forward to in life. How do I handle this?
This question reminds me of an interesting conversation that I had recently with a close friend of mine. For the past few months, he was TERRIBLY worried about his job. I know because he used to discuss with me. He was worried about whether he should change jobs, whether he should continue where he was, what the pros and cons were, how he would inform his boss if he gets a new job, how to finish the deadlines before that, whether his resume was made well enough, whether he had correctly chosen the list of places to apply to, how to prepare for the interviews, whether his parents would be happy with his decision..... the list was never ending, really!
Recently, he got a job offer that he is happy with. Now he has signed the new contract, has already informed his ex-boss, everyone is happy, including himself. Celebrations also done!
I was chatting with him after that. Here is the uneditted chat excerpt:
Yours Truly: so how are u feeling man? abt the new job? :)
Friend: am happy, one big prob solved, parents are of course happy.. but one thing i noticed is suddenly i dont have anything to worry abt.. so kinda feel.. empty.. amazed how much i used to worry abt the job..
Yours Truly: LOL.. are u missing your worries ;)?
Friend: thts wht... yesterday and today not much work.. so i actually got bored. no expecting calls or emails, no tension whts gonna happen next.. no worry of how to break news to boss. so now i cudnt help but think.. so wht am i gonna worry abt next? :)
This is a problem of how to handle "no worries". This leads us to a very relevant question "Why do we love our worries?"As Nithyananda says, our worries make us feel we are important. It defines our identity. We like to worry about our work, children, their studies, home etc. because these are the few parameters that define us. If I were to ask you "tell me more about yourself", what would you say? Perhaps "I am Mr. XYZ, son of ABC and PQR, working in MNC, living in the USA, I love my BMW..."
Imagine you remove these parameters from your life, we feel as though the ground on which we have been standing is removed. We feel we are nobody. We have clutched so tight onto our so-called identity that we feel baseless when we do not think about these things. To put it simply, our ego is boosted when we worry!
When people reach their 50's, when their children are married and well settled, they feel a sense of emptiness. They have all along worried about getting their children educated and married, suddenly when it's all done, they feel a void. Some fill this void by next worrying about grandchildren and their education etc.. till they leave this body one day. Some of them take this opportunity to ask "Surely, my identity cannot be these external things, I am deep down something else, let me explore".
Worry clouds us and gives us an illusion of a false identity, which we hold onto very tightly. To see beyond, to experience the vibrant silence, our true nature is what meditation or any spiritual contemplation helps us towards. It is all about experiencing that beautiful space inside. Only the brave ones explore, the others give excuses and postpone. If you are ready for the jump, why not take the leap and see for yourself? Trust me, you will not regret it!
