with humble pranāms to

 Paramahamsa Śrī Nithyānandā 

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Friday, November 2, 2007

Why fear your boss?

Q: Whenever my boss calls me to his room, my heart skips a beat and I feel numb. I don't know why?

Dear friend, I also went through the same thing. When I joined work a year ago, my attitude towards my boss was that of fear. I used to prepare myself for atleast an hour before entering his room to speak to him.

Now, after applying Nithyananda's guaranteed solutions, I am the last person to hesitate to express anything frankly to my boss. I speak to him casually, without any inhibitions. In fact, now that I think about it, he is a very approachable person.

I started thinking what brought about this change. Why was I so scared of him before?

The answer is - my own fear. Fear of not being recognised by him, fear of not being in his good books. I always wanted his approval. I always wanted to prove that I am a good employee. And most importantly I always wanted him to recognize my efforts, my work. That is the reason why I always thought a thousand times before entering his room. I used to prepare how I should present myself and my work to him so that he is happy with my work.

Can you see it? My own fear of losing his certificate kept me constantly in the mode of fear. Although he is a very friendly person, my fear of losing my credentials made me perceive him as a scary guy. Do you see how our own fear of losing someone's approval creates this misconception?

I was constantly seeking his attention. I was constantly on the run to get his signature, his certificate that I am good guy. Our Master says seeking attention is the cause for 80% of our problems. I could see that in my life. This incident of my life clearly shows that.

It is like a castle of cards. We see children build castles made of playing cards. We keep building the castle made of others opinion of us. We use others certificates about us to build our castles. We keep collecting certificates from every body to saying - good friend, good husband, good student, good employee, good son, good brother ...

Now the problem is we are constantly in the fear that the castle may collapse. What happens if we remove one card out of the card-castle? It will just fall apart. In the same way, if any one person takes away his certificate, thats it; we are depressed. We are thinking of new ways to impress that person. We are thinking of new avenues to get his or her certificate.

This is a problem that everyone of us faces. The truth is - we do not have an opinion of our self. This is the truth. If we know ourselves, why do we care so much about others. If I knew that I worked hard, then why was I constantly seeking my boss's approval? Simply because I did not have an opinion of my own self.

After doing the first level of meditation program - Life Bliss Program, I could see this clearly. Nithyananda talks how attention seeking is related to one of our energy centers and takes us deep into this problem. For those of you who want to know more, I would strongly recommend Life Bliss Program or get a copy of Guaranteed Solutions which captures the Master's words on each of the seven energy centers.

Just by knowing our self, just by being inside our own self, we live for our selves. What a effective technique!! Isn't it??

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

i remember just like u i used to b afraid of my father-inlaw. after a while, i too pondered as to y i am afraid. then i when i learnt meditations, evrything fellin pleace. now i hav my configence bck.

Anonymous said...

Hi.
My momma used to say when fear arises, just look into its eyes. I tell you, it works wonders. Fear is a mind's play. There is no such thing as fear.

And I don't think there is anything wrong in being a good friend, good husband, good student, good employee, good son, good brother ...

Anonymous said...

Of course, Denzel. There is no wrong in being a good friend, etc. But you shouldn't live your life under the pressure of always thinking what others might think about you! Being good is one thing. Always trying to mold yourself to be in the good books of others is something you should avoid.

Here's a small joke on this topic:

A man went out shopping with his wife. After hours of window shopping, he asked her, “Are you at least sure of what you came to buy?” She replied, “Of course! I am here to buy a flat-out handbag.” “And what’s that?” he asked. She explained, “When the neighbors see it, they will be flat out!”

Swami Nithyananda says, "Our self-image is built with others’ opinions of us. We therefore spend our whole lives maintaining others’ opinions of us! Isn’t it time we nurtured our own intelligence to be our steadfast guide?"

Think about it.
Have a blissful day.

 

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